The Essence of Love
Man always have a deep craving for a magical, ethereal feeling that brings us to an ultimate high called love. Love is as different as the person experiencing it and yet it is universal and understandable by all. Love is unpredictable that it comes when it pleases. Ready or not. And it can be anyone you least expect it to be. It’s a feeling over which we have no control.
However, very often these days, what we call love is not love at all. Loving is not about having strong feelings for someone and couldn’t imagine life without them. We tend to regard love as we have known it in modern times, love similar to Shakespearean sonnets of sort, as an ideal and endpoint. It turns out that love is never what we thought it was about. You see that kind of thinking is dependence—an addiction. It is not what love is because you’re setting your own happiness as a goal. The essence of love is far deeper than that in the movies and The Color of Love by Raymond Quattlebaum has the perfect depiction of what true love is, what it looks like, and what it should be.
Coming back to the issue of understanding the nature of love, it is the very essence of creation. As Christians, we know that all things true and good come from God. Therefore, true love is exemplified in the Lord’s love for us: His creations. This whole world exists because of love. It is what keeps the world going but people confuse love with things like jealousy and possessiveness. The essence of love isn’t either of those things, but these are:
Love pits all emotions on a continuum. On one end, you have appreciation. After that, it’s happiness, contentment, joy, and satisfaction. Humanity have the tendency to be addicted to intense emotion that when we fell in love, we want to feel that way forever. But the truth is, the higher that “Cloud 9” feeling, the faster it goes away. Whole love is open, receptive, and in good nature without expecting something in return. Giving and receiving love are equally important, of course. But being open to love doesn’t guarantee that it will be returned but it does create the possibility.
Love is not always give and take. In fact, it should transformational rather than a transaction. One man loved birds so he planted trees. Another man also loved birds but he made cages. See the difference in love? Love today is not given freely and wholly but rather for a reason. Love should not seek captivity. Love is best when you are free to grow. Love captivates but it must be free of bondage as it should be a natural response. Naturally, freedom is the essence of love. Insecure attachment, manic romanticism, and extreme sensitivity to rejection warps love. Freedom is at the core of all healthy relationships as it is where trust, understanding, and harmony are derived from. So if you love birds, let them fly and soar high. Love needs to be free and to be true.
Love has the ability to put yourself into another person’s shoes and see the situation from their point of view. Love has deep empathy with a “when you hurt, I hurt” way of thinking. People who truly love don’t want to hurt another. They want them to feel good. They think of the other person’s feelings and tries everything to prevent the other to get hurt. See faithfulness is an essence of love similar to when God is faithful to us, He cares for us, He leads us, and He loves us. Being faithful will often produce fruit: love, joy, peace, and gentleness. Faithfulness does not mean that you will be perfect. It also does not mean that there won’t be struggles or poor decisions along the way. It does mean that you will continue to trust even when things get difficult.
Love improves your outlook on life. Perhaps the most telling sign for people when they find love is when you can’t imagine a future without them in it. But the truth is, love should feel like when your partner complements your goals and desires and assists in fulfilling your dreams. Love would not and should not hold anybody back. It is not confined wholly to the loving interchange of people; it also contrives to go beyond this. Love should bring happiness and give you the opportunity to discover the best of yourself every day. The kind where there is space for personal growth without suspicions and need for control.
Other times the essence of love is the highest vibrations of joy, peace, abundance, and anything good. Love is a matter of own initiative, it is the basis of itself.