9 Basic Rules To Find Love

^{Photo by Jonathan Borba}

If Valentine’s Day have you thinking about finding love, the holiday could be an excellent motivation to start. check out These basic rules to find love.

Love is the most powerful emotion in the Universe, says Raymond Quattlebaum in reflection on love. His book, The Color of Love, will drown you with curiosity about love. Love is so volatile that it can seem like the quest to find it will never end. Poetry, love, and romance exist in Raymond’s book. And just because the whole world looks too obsessed about fantasy during one day in the middle of February does not mean you have to. For happy singles, these basic rules to find love might come in handy in the future.

Read on to learn the nine tips to boost your chances.

The 9 Basic Rules To Finding Love

1. The “You will find love when you are not looking” approach may be wrong. That is like saying, “You will find a job when you are least looking for it.” Though it is possible, it seldom happens. For the most part, individuals who wait for a job are unemployed. This is just an excuse for being scared to go and put the effort in. Yes, it happens, but no, it is not a good strategy.

2. Do not seek romance; seek partnership. Romance is for dates, and it is fun to have one moment in your marriage, but it is a partnership that will get you through the rough times. Do not look for someone who sweeps you off your feet. That indicates a control freak, and you will not like what happens later. Instead, look for someone who likes give-and-take, seeks your opinion and considers it, and cares about what you want, too.

3. Happy people attract people. The most significant issue in not being able to find love is that you are not feeling good about yourself. Like yourself and like your life — work on that. You have to be the person that you would want to meet.

4. Take time to be by yourself. It is essential to take some time to be alone after a divorce or any break-up after a long relationship. You will be in a much better shape to meet the “right” person if you spend time alone to work out who you are again, heal, and reflect on what went wrong. In this way, you would avoid repeating the same mistakes over and over again.

5. Know the difference between fooling around and building a real relationship. You can mess around with anyone if you are careful and have safe sex. However, before you bring someone into your life, or share living space or money, remember they are carrying baggage. The person you are dating is on their best behavior in the beginning. It gets worse later, so get to know what is hidden before going too far.

6. Stop pining for someone unavailable. Make yourself understand that holding on to somebody who is not interested or is not there for you is harmful, and move on. You must see that as a big dark black pit; you must climb out of it or be buried in it. This is one of the basic rules to find love.

7. Beware of the “opposites attract” theory. Opposites attract initially but will likely face significant friction points down the road. Like-minded people make for more manageable and healthy long-term relationships. The more you see eye-to-eye, the less there is to argue and compromise.

8. Understand your own needs. Do you need a lot of space? Desire lots of affection? Have to know what’s going on all the time? Whatever your style is, it is A-okay, but you need to know it and be able to communicate it to your future spouse. You can train each other if you both know what you need.

9. Go where people like the same things you like. You can skip singles events if you do not like them, but you have to go where you can meet people. Join social groups or meet-ups; be a worker bee in a cause you believe in; get involved in political parties. At the very least, you are doing something you like, and at the very best, you will meet somebody like-minded.

Worthy Thoughts

Each relationship is different, just as each person is different, so how your relationship unfolds will be different too. You must plan for it to go a different way. You have to engage with the process and each other and then make decisions as you go. There is no one like you can say, no one action you can take that will lead to a particular result.

All you can do is live your life more fully, learn to accept and love yourself more fully, and you will love and be loved more fully.